I’m having a really hard time dealing with rejection and opposition in my life. My husband can be emotionally manipulative, and I have difficult family dynamics that often leave me feeling hurt. Even at work, when my projects get rejected or need revisions, I spiral into depression that can last for hours or even days. When my landlord gives us trouble, or when relatives make cruel comments, I feel myself sinking into despair. I’ve been this way since I was young. The only thing that helps is finding someone who understands and validates my feelings – but if they dismiss me instead, I fall even deeper into darkness. Is there something wrong with me? Please be gentle with your response.

Hello dear friend,

Not having the people closest in your life there to support and validate you is an extremely hard challenge. So many of us are sensitive to rejection, but it makes complete sense that your reactions would feel even more heightened due to the emotional challenges of your closest relationships. You really are going through so much.

My way of dealing with rejection-related emotions when they come up is to sit with them and let myself feel them. I encourage you to try this out. Notice where it hurts in your body. Do you have a sense of what your missing, a need that has not been met? Allow yourself to cry if that feels right, for as long as you need to.

I find that when I do this, I’m able to open myself up to self-love Realizing in the deepest way that no matter if others reject me, I will never reject myself. That even if I can’t get the love I want or need from others, I can always give it to myself. 

This is not an easy journey and maybe it’s a life-long journey. Things don’t happen overnight but slowly and steadily you will see yourself growing and you will feel that core of self-love getting stronger within you. 

Ultimately, all the situations and relationships you find yourself in have been exactly designed to get you to this place of connection and love with yourself, and with Hashem, because your neshama is a part of Him, it’s where you come from. 

When you get to the place where you can tap into this knowledge, it is the most beautiful place to be in. From there you experience divine love and you will be able to take that and share it with others, bringing exquisite light into this world.  I wish you a lot of blessings on this journey!