Oh life. So full of beautiful learning opportunities.​

Tonight I learnt that ibuprofen has caffeine in it.​

And so here I am at 2:40am, awake.​

“Ma’am here’s your insomnia, would you like anything to go with it? How about some:​

• anxiety – when you think about how you’re going to get through the next day​
• guilt – because you obviously did something to cause this and​
• jealousy – of everyone who manages to fall asleep so effortlessly…”​

Thanks, imaginary insomnia waiter! – but I’m good. See, I’ve also been learning some other things recently. ​

Like how life has a plan and I kind of just need to relax into it…​

…and even if I didn’t plan this, and even if tomorrow is hard… I don’t actually need those side-emotions you offered me… they aren’t going to serve me…​

…and even if I get less done tomorrow because I’m tired, going slow is sometimes part of the game, too. I’ll get to where I need to be.​

It all comes down to trust. Trusting there’s a safety net big enough in this universe to hold me and my broken plans. And my exhaustion. And my lack of sleep.​

It’s there. I know it from experience, chosen or not.​

You know what? It’s not just a safety net. ​

(And this is the great thing about writing at 3:00am, the imagery gets really creative and dream-like) -​

It’s a trampoline.​

(We went to a trampoline park over Passover break so it’s fresh in my memory).​

Between the highest of heights and the depths of the abyss, there’s a divine trampoline. ​

If you slip, you will be caught.​

And when you’re ready to jump back up, you will be bounced.​

Ok, this all makes crystal-clear sense to me in the strange logic of the night but who knows what that means in the real world. Anyways,​

Goodnight y’all.