Sometimes the emotional pain I’m experiencing feels completely overwhelming. How do you handle it when there seems to be nowhere to put these intense feelings?

My dear friend, I’m so sorry for the intense pain you’re experiencing. Here are my suggestions, whilst acknowledging that it could be nothing can fully take away the pain right now. But hopefully, doing some of the following might help you bear it a little better. So here’s what you do:

You find somewhere quiet and private, sit by yourself and cry for as long as you need. Then sit some more in the silence. 

You go on long walks in nature, or up and down the street if that’s all you have. 

You ground yourself in the present moment. Take deep breaths and notice everything in your surroundings, then everything about how you are feeling inside. 

You accept that whatever you’re feeling is ok, be it grief, anger, fear, longing, numbness – whatever. It is all allowed to be there. 

You frequently think to yourself, “I can’t believe how much pain I’m in,” or “I can’t believe how long this is lasting.” 

But also, you start seeing how you really can endure more than you ever thought possible, more than anyone would ever know. 

When the pain hits, you know it will not last forever because you have gotten through it before. “This too shall pass” becomes very real to you. 

You gain an understanding that when in pain, “feeling good” is temporarily unavailable to you but “being good” is always an option, even if you are limited. 

I am so sorry that it’s all too much for you right now. I don’t know if this is any comfort but I’m thinking of you. Please hang in there.