If you wondered why the first post in my blog is called my last blog post, here’s why:

I have a memory of myself that’s been haunting me lately:

I’m a kid, maybe eleven or twelve, and I’ve decided to reorganize my room. In my enthusiasm, I’ve cleared the space and taken everything off the shelves – but I’ve suddenly lost all my motivation to put things back in order.

I’m sunk in a pit of despair, surrounded by a huge heap of items I can’t bring myself to sort out.

Why did I even start?

I know, I know, as far as memories go, that’s a pretty tame one. But it’s been playing on my mind recently, ever since I got serious about starting a blog.

You see, I’m really excited with the idea, in theory. It sounds lovely to have a place to store my thoughts and share them with anyone who happens to take an interest.

Yet, each time I sit down and begin the actual work of putting a blog together, the familiar fear bubbles up:

What if this is just one more lofty endeavor I start but never finish?

As a Manifesting Generator, I’m no stranger to being inspired to begin countless projects and not finishing them.

Facing my fear

I wish I could tell you I did some deep and intense inner work where I faced my fears and battled my inner demons once and for all…

But instead I took a more hands-on approach and well, basically wrote a final post for this blog.

A provisional farewell letter, to be stored away for when it’s time to say goodbye.

Kind of like how newspapers prepare obituaries for aging or otherwise “at-risk” famous people in advance.

My protection is in place. There’ll be no question marks at the end of this blog. No wondering “where did she go – whatever happened to here?” (I like how I’m already imagining a concerned audience for myself).

The last post has been written. It’s done. Finished.

Take that, childhood-fear-of-not-finishing!

The surprise benefit

The funny thing is, as I started working on my farewell post, something I didn’t expect happened.

Perhaps knowing my last post was already written would take the pressure off things a bit. I wouldn’t have to worry about stopping the blog abruptly and leaving things untidily hanging because I’d have a goodbye piece to publish whenever I needed.

And when you’ve already planned for the future, you’re free to focus on the present.

Through the process of writing, of projecting myself somewhere years ahead and picturing what it would be like to have written a long-term blog and done what I set out to do – through this journey of imagining, I actually felt my fear of failure lessen considerably.

I experienced a deep sense that everything was going to be just fine.

As I leaned into the dream of having completed a project I was really proud of, that had an impact on people, that let me share some of my authentic self with the world, I began to feel more at peace and more trusting that I would get to where I want to go. 

Visualization, my friend! 

Allow me to explain its power in the language of inspiring New-Age-speak:

When I nurture a strong vision of writing a meaningful and impactful blog – when I open myself up to believing that this could actually happen for me – I’m raising the vibration I’m putting out into the world and creating a space for the vision to become a reality.

Ok.

That paragraph was admittedly quite out-there, even for me.

Here’s a more measured, every-day translation of my sentiments:

While of course I don’t know the future and how this blog will turn out, it seems to me that I have a vastly greater chance at succeeding if my attitude throughout it all is one of confidence and trust that I can actually do it.

My last blog post.

No longer a hasty attempt to calm my insecurities about failing. 

Rather, a hopeful prayer for the good things ahead, borne from the excitement of new beginnings.